“Hello. Hello.

My girlfriend Sofia has been struggling with her horse.

Do you think you could help?

I’ve exhausted my bag of tricks. She won’t even watch The Notebook. Surely that means something serious is wrong?

I have even offered to take her and her mother shopping.

But to no avail. I’m calling from Copenhagen.”

This wasn’t the first time I had received one of these calls and it was at times difficult to say the obvious.

If a girl was not happy with her horse, then she might possibly be out of sorts with everyone.

I know from my own life then when things are not going well in the paddock, they’re not going well everywhere else as well.

A new handbag might cheer her up for a few hours.

But a happy horse.

That’s a whole other pleasure.

If your girlfriend has stopped watching The Notebook, give us a call. Because her next stop might be recasting for a new boyfriend.

And no bloke wants to endure that.